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A New Joke Every Day

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Bandit
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Re: A New Joke Every Day

Post by Bandit » Fri Feb 12, 2016 3:37 pm

If I had a fiver for every woman that found me ugly, one day they would eventually find me very attractive.

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Rodney
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Re: A New Joke Every Day

Post by Rodney » Mon Feb 15, 2016 4:41 pm

When is it appropriate to boot a midget in the bollocks?
When he is standing next to your wife saying her hair smells nice!

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Dez
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Re: A New Joke Every Day

Post by Dez » Tue Feb 16, 2016 7:07 pm

What has got for legs but never moves ?
Half a spider.
David Bowie has died - what more can I say :cry:

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Sam
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Re: A New Joke Every Day

Post by Sam » Tue Feb 23, 2016 5:14 pm

Maths Teacher giving a lesson: "If I have 6 cans in one hand and 4 cans in the other hand, what would I have?"
Pupil: "A drinking problem, miss."
And more to the point...................

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Dez
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Re: A New Joke Every Day

Post by Dez » Thu Feb 25, 2016 12:02 pm

Peter said to his friend, "Your mam is so fat that when God said let there be light, she had to leave the area."
David Bowie has died - what more can I say :cry:

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Conti
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Re: A New Joke Every Day

Post by Conti » Thu Feb 25, 2016 7:43 pm

Q) what did the big telephone say to the little telephone?
A) You are too young to be engaged.
What was that you said again - I didn't quite hear you.

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Rodney
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Re: A New Joke Every Day

Post by Rodney » Fri Feb 26, 2016 4:42 am

Cattle in a field.
One cow says to the other, "Have you heard anything about mad cow disease?"
The other says, "its coming this way so its a good job that I am a giraffe."

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Biggsy
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Re: A New Joke Every Day

Post by Biggsy » Fri Feb 26, 2016 4:04 pm

What is the definition of beans on toast?
Skinheads on a raft :sleeping:
I will not be reading any newspapers today, its my day off!

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Bystander
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Re: A New Joke Every Day

Post by Bystander » Mon Feb 29, 2016 12:23 pm

A woman came to my door today and asked for a small donation for the local swimming baths.
I was only too willing to donate so I gave her a glass of water even though I am on a water meter :dance:
I am innocent, are you?

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Sam
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Re: A New Joke Every Day

Post by Sam » Tue Mar 01, 2016 5:40 pm

When someone calls you fat just say its God's way of making me easier to see.
And more to the point...................

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